We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize