i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
