He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
