how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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