He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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