I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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