Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
