addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
