I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
