and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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