I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
