Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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