There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
