It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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