Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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