Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
