New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
