oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I am one with the molecules
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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