I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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