Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
