i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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