thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
