I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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