if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
