why didn't you poke me back
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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