We got so high we made milksteak
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
