Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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