Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we're so committed to being not committed
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
