yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
