Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
