he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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