so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
