this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
