Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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