what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
