Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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