no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
