I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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