Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
