ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
