He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
