We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
