C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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