i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
