But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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