I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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