You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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