i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize