she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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