I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
