When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All the doctor said was why
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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