GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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