In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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