awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
