I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You took a bar mat shot.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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