I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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