So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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