The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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