just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The Olympian is in my bed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
