I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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