I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
