But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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