i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize